Stevie Barnes, a 28-year-old from Austin, Texas, studied the book at church when she was growing up and said it left her with deep emotional scars. The 1997 bestseller was widely read in evangelical Christian communities and was a staple of “purity culture,” which stressed the importance of keeping not just one’s body, but heart new and pure for your future spouse. “…by avoiding romantic, one-on-one relationships before God tells me I’m ready, I can better serve girls as a friend, and I can remain free to keep my focus on the Lord,” he wrote. In the book, he uses the analogy of a man’s previous girlfriends joining him and his soon-to-be-bride at the altar to demonstrate how past relationships can come to haunt you in marriage. While some on Twitter applauded Harris for being so openly critical of his past work, others didn’t think he’d expressed enough regret or were upset that he was being dubbed “brave.”

He also stars in a documentary on the topic that will be streamed online next year. Since then, he’s done several more interviews, delivered a TEDx talk and written a free e-book, all exploring his change of heart. But now, I just feel compassion for the kid you were when you wrote it. He said he was listening to critics, many who have said it made them feel ashamed of their bodies and sexual honestly, your book was used against me like a weapon. Harris, who is also a pastor, revealed in 2016 that his thoughts on dating had changed since he wrote “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” nearly two decades beforehand, when he was 21. He said the book’s publisher has agreed to stop reprinting it, along with two other related books, after the copies in its inventory are gone. “I now think dating can be a healthy part of a person developing relationally and learning the qualities that matter most in a partner.” “I know this apology doesn’t change anything for you and it’s coming too late, but I want you to hear that I regret any way that my ideas restricted you, hurt you, or gave you a less-than-biblical view of yourself, your sexuality, your relationships, and God,” he wrote. Joshua Harris wrote in a statement on his website that he no longer agrees with the central premise of “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” - that Christians shouldn’t date unless they’re ready for marriage - and apologized to those who found it harmful.

The author of a seminal evangelical Christian book on dating doesn’t want to see it on shelves anymore.

Entwined jody hedlund